Pray 40 Devotional, Take 6. Previous drafts proved what we already knew: I’m overly wordy. Now, I am armed with chocolate. But tearstained. Broken. Burdened. Life became heavier the past few hours. Friends incurred unspeakable loss again. I lacked patience with the common “two steps forward, one step back” dance between adoptive parent and child again.
In asking, “Really Lord, when is enough, enough?” a common misconception is exposed. God peels away layers in my reasoning; knee-jerk response reveals a faulty belief. A belief that (must it occur) tragedy should be equally dispersed. I confess I’ve also noticed a preference for immunity from the extra junk of life for believers following the Lord’s call to something different, hard, or seemingly above-and-beyond. Lord please forgive my arrogance, but use my honesty for Kingdom good.
Despite these misconceptions, my walk with the Lord has deepened over the last seven years; years I frequently questioned His allotment of difficulty and tragedy. I observed and even stumbled alongside some faithful believers who experienced brokenness during this period. As in Isaiah 61, hints of beauty began to rise from ashes in their lives. Profound lessons came from those who shared hard stuff, confessed questioning in times of trials, and exposed ashes.
Tonight, I expose ashes. Another time, I may cover specific lessons learned our 1st year as an adoptive family (drafted five chapters in Takes 1-5.) Jesus gently reminds me to accept the ashes, while eagerly anticipating the coming beauty. Ashes from brokenness, tragedy. Ashes of mourning, amid a faint spirit. Ashes that come before Beauty.
“I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness…” Isaiah 61: 10